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  • Writer's pictureEmma Turner

'Try to prise a limpet away from its rock and it will cling all the harder.' John Bowlby

I haven't posted for a while, and wanted to make contact with something that feels relevant to most people I speak with. Attachment.

Attachment styles are formed in early childhood, based on our interactions with our caregivers. They are significant because they play out in our adult relationships too, influencing the kind of partners we pick (stable or less stable), how we might behave during the course of a relationship (needy, distant or volatile), and how our relationships tend to end (wistfully, kindly or with drama).

The attachment styles that no longer serve us well can be modified in adulthood, and it is this exploration that often forms much of the work in a therapy room.

If you are interested in further exploring attachment, there are quizzes online that can give you an impression of what style you may be, based on a series of questions that look at your responses in various situations. I recommend the following option to my clients:

This will offer you some insight as to which of the following categories you most align with; Secure, Anxious, Avoidant or Disorganised.

There is then an abundance of information that you can access online regarding Bowlby's theory. And if you feel you'd like support with your explorations, please do make contact with me at

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